...and quite literally. The Starbucks in Aberdeen's Bon Accord Centre is looking a bit down-at-heel these days, but one surely doesn't expect large, aluminium-framed pictures to come thundering down on top of one's cranberry-and-orange muffin?
It crossed my mind that I could have staged something spectacular - bruising, stained trousers, ruined jumper, blood in the latte - and sued. But this is Scotland, and when it happened, with an enormous crash, not only did I nonchalantly place the picture on the floor and carry on as if nothing had happened, not a single person in the cafe appeared to have noticed anything happening at all.
Another place that seems to be heading rapidly downhill is the Aberdeen City Centre Travelodge. Had to change rooms due to an horrific smell in the first one I was offered. The second one looks like a shipping container, only less aesthetically pleasing. Not that I've spent much time inside shipping containers, but put it this way: my current hotel room makes me nostalgic for the Fiat camper van I used to inhabit during The Inverness Years. Though at least I didn't wake up this morning with my cheek frozen to the wall.