...is remarkably easy. No excuses. Well, all right, one or two: The Tom Morton show is completely unscripted, and occasionally things can become a little fraught, what with technical breakdowns (we had a weather-related loss of my connection to the BBC yesterday) and the need to do four or five things at once ( check e-mails, look for information, listen to producer, think of something funny to say...)
Or not think. And yesterday I found myself responding to Abeer Macintyre's news preview in a totally inappropriate way.
Writing about the incident here probably just makes things worse, but it helps me feel a little better (self-flagellation, doncha just love it?). There was the possibility of an apology at the end of the show, but my call was that we would just draw attention to what I'd said.
Which was? Well, Abeer had a heartwarming story about Italian psychologists setting up football teams for their patients. I know, I know. This half-baked pun formed in my mind and was then blurted out: "They'll be forming psycholeagues, then..." Psycholeague, psychology...always worse when you try to explain. And then, with a vision of both One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and a friend's recent tale of a football match he once played in at Carstairs, swimming around my head, I muttered something else which probably made little sense, but conveyed the notion of aggressively violent players creating mayhem.
Two complaints ensued, both pointing out that not all mentally ill patients are psychotically violent. Well, quite. I knew that. I just said something else, something I'd have given my kids a bawling out for saying.
I could say, och well, it's live radio, and it's history. Except of course, it's available for a week on the BBC's Listen again facility. I can see the headlines - Storm over DJ's 'Psycho' jibe - mainly because I used to write headlines like that. But then, maybe I've overreacting. I'm just off to see a psychologist. One that does martial arts.
Note to self:forget planned career as stand-up comedian. It's the great thing about writing - it's all in the revision. If I'd said "hey, they'll be forming a psychology psycholeague" that might have worked.
Oh, please yourselves...