Thursday, November 27, 2008

The wonder of Woolies, secret crushes and pleading ignorance

Yesterday on the show we nattered about driving tests and strange rockstar names (and those of their children, such as Dweezil Zappa, Zowie Bowie and -most recently- Bronx Mowgli Wendt). Woodside Wullie brought up the demise of Woolworths, and blamed himself - for a shoplifting incident (Dusty in Memphis on vinyl) and his offspring's abuse of the Pick'n'Mix counter.

This unleashed a host of memories: Embassy Records, Woolies' own label; Rigonda TVs and record players, cheap and appalling, all the way from Russia; Audition guitars, the worst you could get. Ladybird kids' clothes and cheap cut-out LPs...

No wonder they've gone bust...

Today, as the tragic international news just gets worse and Robert Peston continues to rant about house price drops, I'm taken (and hey, it's early yet) with this: Polish border guards said Wednesday they had foiled an attempt to smuggle kangaroos, miniature ponies and 11 pheasants in a passenger bus across Poland's border with Ukraine. The bus driver pleaded ignorance. 'I know nothing....nuuutheeeng!' How many of us have said that all too many times? And also Chris Martin from Coldplay's announcement that he has a 'shameful crush' on sometime vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, the Alaskan bear-skinner. Unlikely attractions to public figures, anyone? C'mon, confession is good for the soul!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I once had a very disconcerting dream about Michael Portillo and blushed every time I saw him on the telly for months afterwards. Feel nauseous even thinking about it now...

P.S. Thanks for alerting us to the Lost Soul Band gig...cannae wait!

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin? I would

Brendan MacNeill said...

Wollies started their slide downhill when they ripped the beautiful parquet flooring and wooden counters out of their store. Visiting Grafton Street (Dublin) has never been the same since.

Muttley said...

It Wasnae Me

I definitely wasnae me who under the direction of a "mate" of mine managed to demolished 15ft of brick wall in a pub car park into a stream somewhere in deepest darkest Welsh Wales over 20 years ago (cough honest!)

It definitely wansnae me who reversing a large van with an even longer car trailer attached with a rally car on it in the pitch black.

"Come on loads of room"
"Keep goin, keep goin"
"Miles yet..."

CRUNCH.... rrrrrrrrUMBLE

"er... WOAH!"

It definitely wasnae us who all came to the universal realisation that we weren't that hungry really, the pub was probably really naf, the beer would be "poor".

And we certainly didn't facilitate a "Dukes of Hazzrd" style exit from said car park (no mean feat in a rig weighing 4 tons) (not that I'd know ANYTHING about that of course) as we beat a retreat back to Gods own country.

Tommy. said...

Sarah Palin... Maybe...

Wendy Alexander... Most certainly...

Head already hanging in shame!