Tuesday, October 15, 2013

The Ballad of Daytime TV (Here Come the Hearse Chasers)

The ballad of Daytime TV (Here Come the Hearse Chasers)

Former coppers, all
Sweaty in Vauxhalls and Fords
Fourth cousins twice removed
Answering doors
Warned by researchers
To look sorry and shocked
For folk never heard of
Until the hearse chaser's knock
An inheritance? How much? Where do I sign?
And I watch and I wish that the money was mine
So I could roam car boot sales,
Sifting through trash
Searching for treasures
To flog at auction for cash
I know my Royal Doulton, my Wemyss Ware and Delft
My Faberge, Wedgewood, but there's so little left
In charity shops, or in skips or in attics
Everybody's an expert, everybody's an addict
Of Bargain Hunt, Put Your Money Where Your Mouth is
And then there's the question of investing in houses...
Who are these people, with money to spend
In hundreds of thousands, or do banks still lend
To tattooed guys in fleeces with half-shaven heads
Who buy sad repossessions and the homes of the dead
Tart them up, sell them on, or just rent them out
It's all about profit, not a scintilla of doubt
Ever appears on a presenter's face
As they Escape to the Country
To avoid the disgrace
Of every being reduced to
Price Drop TV
The Jewellery Channel
Where faded celebrities go
Just to keep being in vision
Before finally graduating

To become politicians.

Copyright Tom Morton 2013. All rights reserved.

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