Referendum Songbook, final week. Tuesday: Scottish Forever (The Disagreement Song)

I’m a Tunnocks Teacake, you’re salt and sauce

You like cowping your caber, I couldn’t give a toss

I’m in favour of the great salt and vinegar snog

You prefer to cuddle up with a Caramel Log

We share a love of the great Vindaloo

And a nan bread each, never one between two

I’m Lagavulin or Ardbeg, you’re Glenlivet or Grants

I wear breeks, you like a kilt with stout underpants

And we’ll be Scottish forever

Agreeing never

No matter where we go

Yes or No

I’ll have Loch Lomond, you can have Loch Ness

We’ll share the monster and the wallabies, that’s probably best

Tennents or McEwens, Belhaven or Deuchars

I’ll have porridge with salt, you can have yours with sugar

I’ll just say this, we disagree

It’s Yes for you and No for me

But that’s all right, I have no doubt

I’ll be fine once the stitches get taken out

I’m for pan fried scallops, you’re into Scampi Fries

I prefer the real thing, you prefer the lies

I’m not saying I’m right, I’m not saying you’re wrong

Actually, I am. I’ve been right all along

Words and music copyright Scar Quilse 2014. All rights reserved.